On old stories + the kleshas to find the clarity that's already here

"If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family."

— Ram Dass (while laughing!)

I'm writing this in that strange liminal space between Christmas and New Year, when the decorations are still up but the magic has worn off, when you're full of Quality Street and family time and that particular exhaustion that comes from being around people who've known you your entire life.

It was joyful, of course it was. But it was also hard in ways I didn't fully expect, even though I should have by now. Yes, it happened again. I felt the cold claws of childhood stress, being prescribed a role that doesn't fit.

If you found yourself there this year, slipping back into patterns you thought you'd outgrown, reacting in ways that surprised you, defending yourself against comments that shouldn't still have power but somehow do, you're not alone, and you're not broken.

You've just bumped up against something the ancient yogis understood deeply: we all carry stories about who we are, and most of them aren't even ours. I know the role I was prescribed growing up definitely doesn't suit me, and it's a challenge I renew regularly, telling myself my own story free from the shame of childhood stuff that was never really about me in the first place. Some days I manage it better than others. Some days, three hours into family time, I'm right back in the old script wondering how I got there so quickly.

The Wellness Industry Won't Save You (But Ancient Wisdom Might)

This is the time of year when the wellness industry comes for your wallet with promises of transformation. New year, new you, the message is always the same: you're not enough as you are, but if you buy this program, join this challenge, commit to this radical change, maybe then you'll finally be fixed.

But yoga has always explained that you don't need to be fixed because you were never actually broken. What you need is the space and tools to see clearly, so you can recognise the patterns you're stuck in and see the stories you're still believing, that are not the whole truth.

The Patanjali Yoga Sutras, offers something the permission to see your patterns without shame, and practical tools for working with them. Not fixing or eliminating them, just seeing them clearly enough to recognise when we are losing our own truth.

The Kleshas: Five Patterns That Cloud Our Perception

The kleshas are obstacles, distortions in perception, the reason we keep believing stories about ourselves that were never actually true. They're not new-age concepts or trendy psychology, they're just accurate observations about how humans get stuck. Once you learn to recognize them, you start seeing them everywhere: in your family dynamics, your relationships, your yoga practice, your late-night scrolling sessions when you can't sleep and your brain won't shut up.

The Five Kleshas:

1. Avidya (Misperception)

This is mistaking the temporary for permanent, believing the story is the truth rather than just one interpretation. The label from childhood, "you're too sensitive," "you're not good with money," "you're the difficult one," becomes identity. You forget it was just someone's opinion, shaped by their own limitations and understanding, not an immutable fact about who you are.

2. Asmita (False Identity)

This is the self-image you defend or rebel against without questioning whether it's even yours. Either you become the role you were given and build your whole personality around it, or you exhaust yourself trying to prove you're not that person. Both keep you trapped in the same old story, just from different angles.

3. Raga (Attachment)

This is the belief that happiness is just one achievement away, that once you get this right or prove yourself worthy or finally become good enough, then you'll feel okay. The goalpost keeps moving because it was never about the achievement, it's about the story underneath that says you're not enough as you are.

4. Dvesha (Aversion)

This is the pattern of pushing away anything uncomfortable, the conversations you avoid, the poses that challenge you, the truths you're not ready to face. Avoidance feels like self-protection but it actually keeps us small, stuck in the safe zone where nothing changes because nothing's allowed to be difficult.

5. Abhinivesha (Fear of Change)

It can be so hard to see outside of what we already know. But at some point an opportunity presents itself to be something different, to think differently or to change how we usually respond. Yoga practice accelerates this potential for change. We find our old ways of thinking shift, we might even not get along with the same friends anymore. But it can be SO hard to let go.

This is clinging to what we know even when it doesn't fit anymore, because who are you if you're not the role you've always played? The question terrifies, so we stay stuck in stories that stopped serving us years ago, playing parts that were written by people who never really knew us in the first place.

Ancient Wisdom for Right Now

The Sutras offer two ways to work with the kleshas, and neither requires you to be fixed or perfect or healed. For subtle patterns, the thoughts you can catch early before they've got you fully in their grip, there's self-inquiry: tracing the story back to its source, asking whose voice this really is, questioning whether it's even yours or just something you absorbed along the way.

For strong patterns, when you're caught in the full grip of a klesha, fully triggered or craving or avoiding, thinking your way out doesn't work because the rational brain isn't driving anymore. In those moments you redirect attention, shift focus to something concrete like breath or sensation, and wait for the wave to pass without making it mean something about your worth or progress.

Neither approach requires you to be anything other than present with what's actually happening, which is harder than it sounds but simpler than we make it.

Space to Practice

I'll be teaching a couple of classes on Yoga Hub exploring the kleshas, not as abstract philosophy or ancient history, but as something you can use right now, something practical and real. Because honestly, I'm done with yoga that tells you to just think positive or manifest your dreams or pretend everything's fine when it's clearly not.

The kleshas are the opposite of that toxic positivity, or unrealistic promises, they're the uncomfortable truth about why you stay stuck in the same patterns. But once we recognise this is simply human nature, not a personal failing. It becomes easier to understand ourselves, to send ourselves love and to shift towards radical acceptance. An acceptance that means we don’t need to reinvent ourselves!

Practical Tools: What Actually Helps

The Sutras don't just describe the kleshas, they offer specific practices for working with them. Not magical fixes, just practical tools that actually work when you use them consistently.

Pratipaksha Bhavana (Cultivating the Opposite)

This is the practice of deliberately choosing a different thought when you catch yourself in a destructive pattern. Not toxic positivity, not pretending everything's fine, but consciously redirecting your attention toward what's actually true rather than what the klesha is telling you.

When the voice says "you're not good enough," you don't argue with it or try to convince yourself otherwise. You simply notice it's there, and then gently redirect: "I'm learning. I'm practicing. I'm showing up." Not because it feels good, but because it's more accurate than the story the klesha is selling.

Kriya Yoga (The Three Practices)

Sutra 2.1 offers three interconnected practices for weakening the kleshas:

Tapas (discipline, heat, effort) – The willingness to stay when it's uncomfortable, to show up even when you don't feel like it, to do the thing that challenges you. Not self-punishment, just consistent practice even when it's hard.

Svadhyaya (self-study) – Honest observation of your patterns without judgment. Reading texts that offer wisdom. Asking: whose voice is this really? Is this true, or is this just familiar?

Ishvara Pranidhana (surrender, letting go) – Releasing the need to control outcomes, trusting the process, accepting that some things are bigger than your individual will. Not giving up, just loosening your grip.

The Whole Practice of Yoga

Here's the thing the wellness industry doesn't tell you: there is no quick fix. The eight limbs of yoga, the physical practice, the breathwork, the meditation – all of it works on the kleshas. Not dramatically, not overnight, but gradually, imperceptibly, like water wearing down stone.

You don't notice it happening. You just show up to your mat, you practice, you keep going even when it feels like nothing's changing. And then one day, maybe six months or a year or three years from now, you're in a situation that would have completely derailed you before, and you notice: you're still here. You're still breathing. The old pattern tried to activate and you saw it coming. You chose differently, almost without thinking about it, because the practice had already changed you.

That's how it works. Not through willpower or positive thinking or dramatic transformation. Through consistent practice, through showing up, through the small choices you make again and again until they're not choices anymore, they're just who you are.

The Practice Is the Point

You don't overcome the kleshas once and tick the box. They're part of being human, they'll keep showing up in different forms throughout your life. But practice gives you the tools to recognize them earlier, to unhook from them faster, to choose differently more often.

Some days you'll catch the pattern before it catches you. Some days you'll be halfway through the old story before you realize what's happening. Some days you'll just ride the wave and start again tomorrow.

All of that is practice. All of that counts. Keep going.

This Year, See Clearly

What if the most radical thing you did this January wasn't changing yourself but seeing yourself differently?

What if you gave yourself space to question the stories you've been carrying, and wrote your own story?!

You're already enough, which doesn't mean you're perfect or healed or finished, it means you get to be real- and welcome yourself with open arms, flaws and all.

I'll be teaching a couple of classes on Yoga Hub that explore the kleshas, not as abstract philosophy, but as practical tools for seeing your patterns clearly.

I am offering 12 days free to explore the “Be cool for Yule” series (or anything else) and an invitation to stay for the 50% off New Year offer until January 5th! NEW YEAR OFFER 

(Not because it's "new year, new you" nonsense, but because this is the time when we most need reminding that we don't actually need fixing. Come practice seeing clearly.)

Laura x